I saw this post in my Instagram feed today and it really hit me with a lightbulb moment. I'm sharing it because I feel like it may resonate with a lot of you and open a new way of thinking and feeling and a path towards healing. (Post quoted at the end of the article)
"Being called a racist is NOT an insult"
This is a really important message to sit and digest. When you sit with your feelings a while and really ponder and pray about why it hurts when people are angry towards us or call us racist then it can help us to accept it, and we really do need to be able to accept it.
It can be really painful and make us feel defensive, angry, upset and outraged when we are called racist or told something we have said or done is racist. This is because you're a good person and being told these challenges what you believe about yourself. That's hard to face. The good news is that who you see yourself as hasn't changed, you're not a bad person, the fact you feel hurt proves it. There's a difference between being a racist and saying or behaving in a racist way in ignorance. It only crosses over the boundary when we refuse to accept it or do anything about it.
The person calling you racist isn't attacking you, they are not judging you, they are calling your attention to an area you need to examine. They are giving you the opportunity to learn, grow and develop because you are a good person. It will hurt because you are a good person and you will feel defensive because you are a good person. Then you will take a deep breath and remember all this, apologise, make réparations, learn and do better because you are a good person. Then you will share what you have learned with others.
Everyone knows and understands and accepts that good people make mistakes and sometimes do and say the wrong thing. Especially when we feel angry or hurt.
We have to understand that if people are responding angrily to us it's because they are in pain, we must not take that personally. We are called to weep and mourn with them.
I understand that it can feel frustrating, I understand that we all want to do the right thing and be good people and be seen as good people. I understand that sometimes it feels like you don't know what's safe to do or say and it's not a comfortable place to be. It's ok. We have access to a lot of resources and information and that too can be really overwhelming and it's hard to know where to start.
If you are feeling hurt, if you are feeling this pain and these frustrations, I get it, I've been there, I'm still there. I understand I'm not gonna judge you, change takes time, hard work and pain. It's normal, it has to be done and it is worth it. Feel free to leave a comment if you want to.
You can vent to me, you can ask me questions, ask me for support or direction. I won't have all the answers, but I will always listen. Whatever you need.